See It's too Late
by Emina Irah
Summary: Sometimes it takes to lose something to finally realize what you had. But sometimes it doesn't have to get to that and it could still be too late. After all arrangements against will can cloud one’s mind.


**Disclaimer****: I don't own Card Captor Sakura.**

"**The Sisterhood…"**

**~O~**

**Chapter: See… It's too Late**

**~O~**

It was barely past midnight. I turned and turned trying to find a comfortable position to go back to sleep, no such luck. There was a buzzing sound at the other side of the bed; more like a vibrating one. She didn't make a move at first; neither did I, though I was tempted. She ended up answering the phone.

"Hello?"her melodic voice had an edge of sleepiness -unlike me, she was fast asleep, like always.

I could make out the words on the other side of the line, "Sakura?" the voice sounded strange strained. It was a girl, one of her friends. I couldn't pin-point which one.

"Mm?" she was still half asleep.

"Is Li awake?" The girl glanced at me, now more awake. I had my eyes closed.

"No, is something wrong?" It was a whisper but you could hear the concern in her tone.

"Could I come up? I need to talk."

The girl sat upright and asked, even more concerned, "what happened, sweetie? Where are you?"

"I know you always keep your phone in vibration for the night-"

"Where are you, Chiharu?" She cut her friend off.

I wasn't able to hear the answer as the girl got, quietly, out of the bed and room. "And I'm the child," was the last thing I heard. Not long after, the door of the apartment was carefully closed.

More than once, in the 15 minutes that fallowed before the door opened again, I considered going to look for her, the child. Muffled footsteps told me that the girl came back with her friend. She doesn't make sound at all, not her footsteps, the child's.

I went back to my previous activities: rolling. I was restless; couldn't sleep no matter what I did or where I moved to. I didn't cross to her side of the bed, though. Her weight, I realize, wasn't what I was missing. I had long discovered that she barely made any difference when to weight concerned. There was something that wasn't there, though. I couldn't make out what.

The light that was coming from the kitchen barely lit the room. The door was slightly ajar. Their voices were too soft and quiet. They might have been whispering in order not to awake me. If I'd just had the luck of being asleep…

Slowly, realization hit me. It was so slow and I was very tired that I didn't put any objections to the thought of what I needed to sleep in peace.

Remembering how the Chiharu girl had sounded afraid of me being awake, I got out of the bed and headed to the kitchen. Plan: subtly scare the girl with my presence -and if she wants to believe she awoke me, better yet- so she will leave. Hence letting my fiancée go back to bed, and warm her side of the bed for me. A great plan if you ask me.

"Did you… with Li, did you ever tried to make things work?" Mihara's voice sounded strangled, as if she had been crying. She was sitting at the table her back angled from me; she wasn't looking up.

My fiancée was standing by the counter with a cup of orange juice in her hand. She nodded, "At first, yeah. I tried but only for a year maybe more…" Mihara looked up, waiting for more but it seemed obvious –to her, at least- that there was no more; it was clear.

Her words didn't sink in at first, but they did, eventually… She'd tried to make things work… Had she really, really tried? When?

"An assembly of The Sisterhood is in order." The girl smiled openly at her friend whom seemed rather confused at the announcement. "We need to put you back on your feet." Mihara looked down as if embarrassed and depressed but said nothing. "It'll be in the morning, though. You need to rest first."

This was her cue to snap out of it, and she instantly got on her feet. "You're right." She smiled. "I'll be going."

"Going where?" –_anywhere it doesn't matter, let her go_- "you've got nowhere to go…"

"Geez, thanks." There was a mock hurt to her tone as she started toward the living room. "I'll stay at a hotel for the night. The Sisterhood will sort things out tomorrow. That's just what I need-" Her eyes started gleaming. "-plus the appetizers, and a plan, and some whole-hearted laugh, and the company, of course." A wide smile spread across her face.

"Okay," –sight- "if that's what you want. Here," –she handed a spare of keys to the girl- "take my car. You're not calling a cab." She had a car? Didn't know. They walked to the door –my fiancée with the night gown over her pajama- and headed out again. Probably, just to walk the girl to the car.

I went back to the bedroom, glad that she was coming back.

"_I tried… I tried… I tried…" _Her words kept echoing in my mind as I waited for her return. Had she really tried? For real? How? What had she done to try? How come I didn't remember? "_... Take my car…" _When did she get a car?

Her body was back at my side and I hadn't realized. She'd just come back, of course. I stared at her petite figure; it didn't take her long to fall asleep again –fast asleep, like always. I continued to stare at her for a while longer; I still couldn't sleep. Somehow she moved closer to me. She was lying on her side then rolled unto her back. She wasn't as warm –warm at all- as she'd been before getting up –that's how close she was, I could even tell her body temperature, not exactly but my point.

It took me a minute or two after staring at her and pondering over her temperature, to realize that it wasn't she who was close to me; I had leaned over her. With life of its own, my arm placed itself on her flat belly, and I lain on my side, facing her. If she was cold, wasn't it my duty, as fiancé, to share my warmth with her? It made sense. I snuggled closer to her, and buried half my face in her hair and half between her shoulder and neck. Her skin was a little cool, but it was fine.

Thoughts kept coming to me, not wanting me to sleep but think. I wasn't up for that anymore.

Her sweet sent overwhelmed my nostrils; I found it hard not to succumb to my tiredness. Only my arm rested on her, but the nearness felt nice, very nice…

Last night's or early morning's event keeps on coming back. What Mihara came here for is not my concern or rather what I'm bothered by, but…

She said she had tried. That's what is bugging me. Did she really try? I can't place or put my mind on one time that she'd made the effort to make it work. I sight. If she didn't try then why would she lie? She is not someone to lie. Not like Takashi. Poor Mihara, I guess she is the worse off.

Finished with my shower and rambling thoughts, I walk out of the bathroom. She lays there on the bed, still asleep. It was hard to get out of bed today; but I managed. I change into a clean and fresh set of clothes. The normal: formal pants, button up shirt, and the jacket over it. I'm ready for work. She is still asleep when I leave the bedroom…

It only gets harder and harder to get out of bed every morning, yet easier to get in. She sleeps through the night without ever waking up unless someone calls or anything, which, good grief, doesn't happen every night, hasn't happened since Mihara's visit two weeks ago.

They have some weird, crazy plan that they've been working on ever since –a plan that is going to make someone very, very embarrassed, or _should_ in the very least, but they don't have shame so… maybe not-. I'm actually looking forward to it…

I would've stayed hours with no end –until she was about to wake up- in bed if that damn phone of hers hadn't woke her up and made her dash out the door fully dressed about seven minutes later.

It reminds me of that day two weeks ago, when Mihara came in the middle of the night. She had received a call five minutes before there was a knock on the door. She had actually dashed out before I had gotten out of the apartment –and I showered and dressed before she even awoke.

I get out of bed, exasperated with the memory. "_At first, yeah, I tried…"_ It keeps bugging me. How had she tried, what had she done, had I missed something…

Frustrating.

I walk into the parking lot after taking a shower and dressing casually. A black Mercedes stares at me. It's not the latest one. I've had this one for more than, or about, five years. It's the oldest one I have. All my other cars –here I only have one other- are the latest version. I tend to change them every year or two, for a faster or just a newer model.

I haven't changed the Mercedes, thought. It's the one I bought in Hong Kong when all this madness started. The one I _transport _Mss. Sakura around. For one, she was just fourteen and I was told not to kill her with my crazy driving.

I walk past it and head to a green Porsche. Now that's what I'm talking about. The car runs, for real. I open the door and get in. The scent of still-new hits me immediately.

For the first time in my life, the scent doesn't soothe me –maybe it's not the first time, though- I don't know anymore. Instead of soothing, it unsettles me even more. I put in the key to start the engine. I don't turn it on immediately. Eyes closed, ears focused, heart pounding with expectation, y turn the key slowly. The low roar doesn't have the effect I was expecting.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had held in.

I look around the car. It's immaculate. But that's just me and the fact that I _almost_ don't use this car anymore.

I get out of the Porsche and head back to the Mercedes.

The car is not in bad shape, not at all. I do take good care of it. Like with all of my other cars. I actually have to take special care of this one because missy prissy is an exceptionally messy person when she wants to be or perhaps when she isn't paying much attention. She can be quite careless, too.

I hop inside and sit. Going through the same course of action as before, I take in a deep breath, close my eye, and train my ears on the upcoming roar of the car coming to life. But I don't move to turn the car on, though. I just sit there with my eyes closed, my breathing evened, and just being there… not exactly relax but not tense either.

After a while I open my eyes and take in my surroundings looking for something that isn't there, and yet not knowing what it is that's missing. And there is nothing missing really. Everything is where I last left it or the child. And after awhile I just give up looking for nothing and rest back on my seat. I find it this time –what I was looking for- a strange sense of familiarity… I had this car brought from Hong Kong to Japan when we had to move here to be close to her family for a change and mine too since mother had moved here for the hell of it when they threw the bomb of the marriages on us…

I only did it so I didn't have to go and buy another one. God knew Mother and Mr. Fujitaka would have found it as a _great_ opportunity for us –Sakura and I- to spend some _quality_ _time_ together…

I guess it's because of how long I've actually had this one is why it feels so… so _at home_ in it.

So I just sit there, feeling at home. I let my mind wonder, to anything, to everything, and to nothing at all… just wonder. It's because of this, I guess, that for the first time in a long, long time I'm aware of the coolness on my chest in spite the warm temperature of not just the car but the day…

And I'm aware of the chain that hangs around my neck, a white gold chain. My hand snaps up to my chest at once. A one-inch wolf falls from the chain; this too is white gold and has a pair of ambers as eyes. It's small and very well crafted. The ambers stare up at me –upside down- while its head is angled.

I try to remember where and when I got it. Nothing comes into mind. I close my eyes and focus. I'm overwhelmed by the cars scent, a mixture of some fresh forest car scent, mint, air freshener, vanilla, and others I can't pinpoint but have always been here.

I remember once finding a black box about ten times five. I opened it curious at what it was and whose it was. There was a folded note.

_Mrs. Li said that July 17 was your birthday…Happy birthday!_

It didn't say from whom but I knew immediately who it was.

_She had tried_.

On July 17, I had picked her up like I normally did, taken her to school then picked her up again after work. I had been on the phone all along the ride to the dorms –where she lived. Not once did I spare a glance at her, nor did I mind remembering I wasn't alone. She had even lingered for a few minutes after I'd parked in front of the entrance. Then, with a defeated sight, she had gotten out of the car leaving the box behind. I didn't spare a glance to it back then, though I had noticed it.

I remembered it as soon as I read the note that day and saw the little wolf. Four month had gone since my birthday. I made a mental note to thank her but never really did. What I did do was put it on, and I've worn it ever since. I had even forgotten all about it, too.

She's never made a comment about me wearing it, though. Not once. Nor did she ask about it either. Our conversation –more like, her attempts at conversation- did decrease little by little –if not fully- by the time I wore the chain. I guess that's when she gave up on me.

**xXx**

**Well, there goes nothing… **

**Just thought I would come out with this one. I've had it for quite some time now. I was only missing a little part in the middle… At one time it was meant to be a chaptered story but I changed my mind. Not to mention I already have uncompleted stories that I **_**am**_** working on I just need some time…**

**Anyway, leave a review?**


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